Pema Chödrön taught me not to suppress my emotions but to enlarge my sense of what it is to be alive.
It is a job, this life. I am moved by the emotion of my experience—it is mine to move through–but sometimes, I get stuck.
Experience is its own expedition. Drama lurks around every bend, often with demons of my own making.
Emotion is the ego’s playground. Why leave? After all, there is something to be said for the familiar demon.
Familiarity wears thin, though.
I immerse myself in the emotion—the drama that feels as if it is my entire life. I am on an expedition to learn and then to let go, to become “groundless.”
Whatever we discover, as we explore it further,
we find nothing to hold onto, nothing solid,
only groundless, wakeful energy.
It feels a new day, even if it’s just been an hour or two, and sometimes it feels a new year, even if it is not.
Events and emotions are mere scenes in a daily drama, each replaced by whatever comes next, and something always does.
Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.
I loved that idea of “enlarging my sense of what it is to be alive.” as I accumulate more years of experience of meditating, it seems I am enlarging my sense of my own identity above and beyond the boundaries of my ego. In fleeting moments of lucidity, I know I am not just this body, not just this mind, but something much, much larger.
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