Even my meditative state is unsettled, constantly shifting. My mind offers up the past one frame at a time, inviting me not only to watch but to immerse myself in a moment that no longer exists.
It seems the safest course and so I do. Memory is a reflecting pool–all is revealed—until I dive in, and then all I am is wet.
It is its own kind of awakening, albeit an abrupt one, but fear bears moving through.
The changes I feared would ruin me
have always become doorways,
and on the other side I have found
a more courageous and graceful self.
Opening into the unknown is always scary but what is yet to come is the experience of my life. And that is why I am here, not to be fearless but to be curious, ultimately.
To know the smell of change is to know the smell of rain.