It is a morning of fear and for no worthy cause or reason. I could give it other names but fear is what it is. The signs are everywhere.
Even my meditative state is unsettled, constantly shifting. My mind offers up the past one frame at a time, inviting me not only to watch but to immerse myself in a moment that no longer exists.
It seems the safest course and so I do. Memory is a reflecting pool–all is revealed—until I dive in, and then all I am is wet.
It is its own kind of awakening, albeit an abrupt one, but fear bears moving through.
The changes I feared would ruin me
have always become doorways,
and on the other side I have found
a more courageous and graceful self.
Opening into the unknown is always scary but what is yet to come is the experience of my life. And that is why I am here, not to be fearless but to be curious, ultimately.
To know the smell of change is to know the smell of rain.
Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.
I love that line “…not to be fearless, but to be curious”
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Another comfort and timely post – thank you! I especially loved this: “Opening into the unknown is always scary but what is yet to come is the experience of my life.”