I find solace in curiosity, in knowing each moment is unique. No matter how many times I perform a certain task, in this moment the experience is new.
Who knows how it may all turn out.
What I’m discovering is that if I stay curious, equanimity is not as difficult–even in the really hard moments, perhaps especially then.
Equanimity may be most evident in the small stuff, the routine of daily life. Here, my chronic illness is an advantage for my time is mine. My day opens with meditation and yoga but when that day begins may be at 4 AM or 10 AM or noon.
I live a “routine of no routine” routinely.
This seems small stuff because it is. Yet, there was a time–even after the day job ended–that if I did not rise by a certain time, the day was over before it began. Now, I aim for even, and see where that takes me.
I immerse myself in the task at hand such as the slicing of a Pink Lady apple for my breakfast. The world around me expands. Occasionally, there is revelation. At first, that took me out of my moment but now—with all the other thoughts–it rolls on by. My mind evens out.
I think less and discover more. Once, my pursuit of the impossible blinded me to the details of what is possible. Why pursue the future when so much awaits me now?