No Need to Seek Joy

These last few days I have been seeking joy, as if it were a limited experience, a one-time offering. I’ve given it all kinds of attention without opening myself to the actual experience.

Why is that?

Truly, because I am unable to imagine joy. I am facing a moment of loss; I want to hold onto what is no longer. I am not yet ready to let the dam burst. Letting go is its own moment, and I find no joy in it.

Pema Chödrön tells me that joy is trusting my “fresh, unbiased nature.” In other words, work with the reality I have.

At the beginning joy is just a feeling

that our own situation is workable.

We stop looking for a

more suitable place to be.

(The Places That Scare You, Pema Chödrön, 2009)

Joy washes clean my current slate; I weave the loss into every fiber of my being. There is so much love, so much gratitude, and yes, joy. I discover the extraordinary in the ordinary.

It takes guts, Pema Chödrön says–“rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite”–it takes tears, too.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.

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