I knew it would happen.
This morning, I walked away from my car and into my apartment, leaving my walker in the backseat. It was not a mindful thing to do.
I was deciding whether or not to wash the car. It needed it. The top of the car receives rain residue from the apartment roof shingles. Frequent trips to the car wash are advised but in the last two years, they have not been a priority.
Now they are, which is no excuse for not paying attention. But this morning, I was immersed in old behaviors, certain of new results.
The apartment complex offers a DIY ”car wash area.” It is a regular, garden hose and nozzle hooked to a spigot (and pipe) located on the side of a parking spot. My DIY efforts revealed that with a bit more pressure much of the tar like substance was removable.
In the past, going to the car wash had not helped much but this morning was different. Why was I so certain? I had energy.
Today is a bit of a medical reset for me—maybe. My rheumatologist increased my prednisone intake for a period of six days, after which I return to my regular daily dose.
I was amazed I had the energy to drive to the car wash, after just attempting a DIY wash. It would stretch my finances but I had the energy! That’s the moment I realized I did not have my walker.
I know the magic of prednisone. Its energy is a bit of an illusion. In the past, I used up every bit of the magic, pushing myself beyond its power, depriving myself of any of its effects.
Even a good reset result is negligible but it’s a reset.
Just as the car wash produced negligible results, the vehicle benefits. As for the car roof, it’s time for me to phone a friend. 😉 That admittance in itself is quite a reset.
It fills me with joy to know that I have the strength to wobble and waddle from my car’s parking space into my apartment. BTW, there was also a step involved. Yet structurally, I am a “house of cards.”
One fall is a life changer. One fall. For now, anyway.
I need to be mindful of this prednisone reset. It is only a visitor, not a permanent resident. Perhaps it will leave a gift, perhaps not. Still, the experience is one of worth.
A reset is a mindful acceptance of life as it rolls. There are no guarantees, only the wide-open door of equanimity. Magic is appreciated but accepted for the illusion it is.
“I think this is how we are to be in the world—present and in awe.” (Anne Lamotte).