Tag Archives: ego

Expectation is Exhausting

Sea Oat 1013Zen keeps me from anticipating a situation that feels similar to one I’ve met before. One is past and one is now. No amount of anticipation will make one the other.

It’s exhausting, expectation.

It is like telling my head to drive and telling my heart to sit in the backseat. And be quiet. I’ll let you know when you’re needed.

Except my ego is never going to ask for directions, until all else has been exhausted, and even then….

My ego always knows the solution and offers it up without asking. The course of my heart is consistency, a steady beat absorbing the ego’s momentary spikes.

It is my heart that advises: “Wait. Let the moment open. So much is available to you.”

There is an array of life lenses from which to view existence.  I don’t have to look through Zen but when I do, it is my heart that responds.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page

Born to Chatter

I have been thinking a lot about voice. As usual, what comes to mind is Donald Miguel Ruiz’ “be impeccable with your word,” which cues my ego. After all, it was born to chatter.  

There was a time when I did nothing but listen to that voice. Now, mere awareness of it shows me all I need to know. I’ve learned to step back from my ego, to “watch” as well as to hear it.

My ego narrates image after image stored within my memory, my own personal archive. When it reaches the end of a file–the re-creation of what occurred, with variations, of course—it goes on to create future scenarios.  

Like a pendulum, the voice swings between past and future, and only the present pauses it.

It is true that being in the moment is full of uncertainty—it’s new, never happened before–it is tangible, explosive, and completely real. Mindfulness is feeling pain, joy, fear, and courage for it is only in the moment that we live.

storks-and-egrets-waverly-0214

There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing

that you are not the voice of the mind–you are the one who hears it.

If you don’t understand this, you will try to figure out which

of the many things the voice says is really you.

Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

Maybe what is most amazing about being present, mindful, in the moment— whatever name we give it— is that in the chaos of immediacy, the ego is silent. It is stilled by life.  

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity in daily doses. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page. 

 

 

Living the Metaphor

Ego is like a never-ending audio book, a story line with plot twist after plot twist. No judgments, no labels, or assumptions are ever omitted in this ongoing commentary on the life experience.

Fortunately, metaphors abound, such as Joseph Campbell’s:

God is a metaphor for that which transcends

 all levels of intellectual thought.

It’s as simple as that.

(PBS’ “Power of Myth Series” with Bill Moyers)

In order to transcend, I must “push out of my own existence.” It’s not a matter of stifling the ego, ever. It is a matter of soaring along side of it.

Co-existence with ego is “following my bliss.” As Campbell said, bliss is not all fun; on that, my ego and I agree. Occasionally, we know moments of flight but intense presence requires acute awareness.

We are not yet that intimate, even after all this time.Ego and Self 082816

Like two golden birds perched on the selfsame tree, intimate friends,

the ego and the Self dwell in the same body.

The former eats the sweet and sour fruits of the tree of life,

while the latter looks on in detachment.

Mundaka Upanishad

It is a lifetime practice, this living of metaphor.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity in daily doses. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.