Every Day Zen
Progressing. Not how I usually describe chronic disease. I don’t think I have used that adjective in any of my previous posts but memory is unreliable. Always, it plays to audience. Over the last six months I have met with different specialists for different views and all have returned the same label: progressing. Yesterday, I... Continue Reading →
I put the bathroom scale in my bedroom closet--for now--as part of my Zen practice, which probably sounds like escape, and it might be, but as the Buddha taught, the practice is to live “not too tight and not too loose.” I’m familiar with life in the closet as a lesbian, a chronically ill adult,... Continue Reading →
Ah, up to my neck in alligators. The morning's first meditative thought, familiar and friendly. Tricky though--thoughts--learning to look and not touch or risk getting swept up in ego’s infinite loop. Awareness can be exhausting, and when I feel the alligators, I know I must sit with my energy. I’ve separated my yin from yang. Being... Continue Reading →
I was not familiar with the term greenway until I left Wyoming for subtropical Florida. Ever green lands were where other people lived. I still marvel at the green that is the South. My county has a population very close to the entire state of the high plains desert that is Wyoming. The magnificence of... Continue Reading →
If there must be thoughts--and there always are--be thoughtful, I tell myself. Rather than “winding yourself up,” just stay present. Mindful. Keep yourself confined to the day you have. You live nowhere else. I often find myself mucking about on low energy days. Going nowhere. They’re a bit of a slippery slope, if I wander... Continue Reading →
No matter the purpose of my appointment with the neurosurgeon, the conversation always comes down to autoimmune disease. Today’s visit was no different. This is the same neurosurgeon’s office that--a few weeks ago--rescheduled my appointment without telling me. Beyond that, there was an additional conversation about another scheduling error. However, we all showed up today... Continue Reading →
Sometimes, I am keenly aware of the metal in my hips, as well the plate and screws repairing the fracture in my right femur. It’s not a sensation of pain, it’s warmth, a light sunburn. I am in awe of sinew uniting metal with bone and muscle as I move into my next yoga pose.... Continue Reading →
This morning, I “celebrate” the latest GOP idea about healthcare with gluten-free, chocolate chip cookies dipped in unsweetened almond milk. Yes, I know. It is this kind of decision-making and behavior that leads to pre-existing conditions. Gluten-free or no, what is involved here is sugar, even in unsweetened almond milk, which also contains very few... Continue Reading →
Now is a dark night of the soul for me. It has been for a while but I have not sat with the darkness as I do now. It is all around me, mine to explore. Darkness always holds a sliver of light, elusive as it may seem to be. Experience tells me that, and... Continue Reading →
I am in constant awe of my body’s ever-changing status. It constantly updates. I suspect even Facebook would not want to know that much. I didn’t, not for years. My body is masterful in the day-to-day of living, always working to provide me the best experience. It’s a mystery, this genius. Mindfulness gives me glimpses... Continue Reading →
Aim For Even: The Daily Dose 