Every Day Zen
Maybe I always believed in “bursting the boundaries.” After 40 years of chronic illness, it seems so. This kind of “resistance” to medical expectations takes a certain amount of naïveté, and I don’t mind admitting that. It also means staying in the moment, regardless of the experience it offers--no expectations, just experience. And sometimes, I... Continue Reading →
Sometimes, I am keenly aware of the metal in my hips, as well the plate and screws repairing the fracture in my right femur. It’s not a sensation of pain, it’s warmth, a light sunburn. I am in awe of sinew uniting metal with bone and muscle as I move into my next yoga pose.... Continue Reading →
On this Monday morning I am reminded of "small change, small wonders—the currency of my endurance and ultimately of my life” (Barbara Kingsolver). I had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to mark my six-week progress of my second hip-joint replacement. First there was the x-ray and then there was its viewing. The surgeon and... Continue Reading →
I only looked away for a moment. I got up from my seat of mindfulness, no longer confident in just being. I wanted control. There were complications with my latest hip replacement surgery--a fracture that became my only focus, my only reason for being. Physically, it is some of the most demanding pain I have... Continue Reading →
So often I forget the quiet that is courage, having been deafened by my own roar. Every particle of creation sings its own song of what is and what is not. Hearing what is can make you wise; hearing what is not can drive you mad. (Sufi poet Ghalib) And so I do drive myself... Continue Reading →
A week from today I have my second hip replacement surgery. It means tapering off autoimmune disease medication. It’s always a tricky time. Physically, my cells shift to adapt to lack. In response, my mind releases words at whim. The challenge of the sentence looms. I remember the warrior butterfly— bodhisattva— who forsakes the firm... Continue Reading →
These are days of updating—for me and for my laptop--one restart after another, with mixed results. It is not a longing for default. That is a past setting. My voice recognition software doesn’t keep up with impermanence any better than I do. It is more silent than not, choosy in what it recognizes and then…silence. Not... Continue Reading →
Possibilities no longer linger in a portrait of a day that was. Every yesterday is framed, in and of itself--perfect--some seemingly more so than others. I’m not much on pulling from the past, even if it’s just a day previous but every day is its own energy. Sometimes, aiming for even means a look back.... Continue Reading →
We live without knowing what may happen. The fresh experience is the human one. Rainer Maria Rilke makes it a bit more palatable by adding patience: Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. It is possible to live and not know. Rainer Maria Rilke Patience provides a... Continue Reading →
As I wrote not too long ago, my every day dose of energy does not always include writing a daily post. I suspected that might be true when I began Aim for Even (AFE) so I set the first milestone for this blog at 365 posts. It is not a coincidence that there are 365... Continue Reading →
Aim For Even: The Daily Dose 