Let there be moments, unexplainable.
Let there be a few things that are mysterious,
for which you cannot supply any reason.
When I came across the Osho quote this morning, I thought of chronic illness. I have no idea of the context of the quote but I doubt it is chronic illness.
Of late, I am more ill than not so my perception is a bit skewed but even on the good days, the energy of chronic illness is illusive.
There is always a daily dose if not always a daily blog post. 😉
Some days, to aim for even is all I can do in my activities of daily living. After nearly four decades, I no longer get caught up in the why or the how. Both are in the bin of the unexplainable.
Chronic illness is a chaotic conversation— all but unintelligible—signals between body and mind. It is a vibrant world of sensation. The more I pursue, the more I perceive the mystery that is never solved. Reason has little to do with it.
Accepting the unexplainable has been a long time coming but it means that chronic illness is and has always been my most remarkable teacher. Consistently, it demands although it is inconsistent in its demands. There is no reason in that, either.
These days I don’t fight chronic illness nor do I put it on display as a series of labels. It is not a competition or a drama. Both are a waste of time.
I am not my body or my mind but a “pure center of awareness,” an acceptance of the unexplainable, an appreciation of the mysterious.
To date, that might be the most important lesson chronic illness has taught me: explore the mystery for there isn’t always a reason.
Aim for Even posts offer equanimity in daily doses. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.