Tag Archives: Writing

When Courtesy Is Left Behind

Life is not so short but

that there is always time

enough for courtesy.

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I found this quotation in my morning email. After yesterday’s post regarding my experience at the neurosurgeon’s office, I appreciate the coincidence or is it synchronicity?

And here’s a bit more, I think.

The working title of one of the essays I’m writing is “Love in a Time of Hate.” Admittedly, it’s challenging and not because I believe much of life is a Zen koan, although it just may be.

The issue is Emerson’s point, courtesy—a reverence for life that is increasingly rare. I would be hard put to find a more apt quotation for my online experience so far today.

As a wise friend observed, the face of all this snark is frustration. We are turning on one another rather than looking for a sliver of light in what is a great darkness. And it’s exhausting, especially when hate seems so strong.

That stops me in the writing of my essay but I’m determined to finish it because I know hate does not exist without love, truly. Hate is merely love buried but love is resilient. Its heart does not stop beating until ours does.

And it’s complex this love-hate that is so integral to being human. One does not exist without the other because like light and dark, they are halves of a whole. And when we understand that, we will not fear hate or hide our love.

It’s reverence for life that will get us there, I think, for courtesy clears any air, albeit momentarily. It changes the pace and sometimes, that’s all that’s necessary, even if the solution is to walk away. Courtesy allows us the integrity to do so.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.

Trying to Be a Woman with No Future

Yesterday, I saw a Byron Katie meme that said, “I am a woman with no future.” There was a time I knew myself as such but of late, I am caught up in the way of the world rather than the way I work.

I know they are not mutually exclusive but I have lost sight of myself, looking only to the future. My body is taut, my perspective narrow. Two writing submission deadlines loom, and neither essay is coming together.

I am focused on the deadline rather than the content, looking to the end stage rather than the words it takes to get there. I need to be a woman unaware of her future.

It means bringing the meditative state into my day. For me, writing does that but the world does not stop because I write. Even without deadlines, writing occupies most of my day. Words are always forming phrases.

I pass over one thought for another and then maybe go back to the original. Regardless, I find out what I’m thinking. I have great respect for mind and all that it produces, which is a lot.

I’m not sure that I ever allow my body enough respect, especially when I am writing. It, too, requires movement but unlike moving words around on stationary screens, the body in motion takes me away from screens. Words float, sometimes out of mind.

If I sit just a little longer I tell myself. I’ll set a timer but I sit too long or maybe, not long enough. Without an evenness of mind and body, my entire being stiffens.

Mind often dominates but at its own expense for if the body is ignored in terms of exercise and nutrition, the mind muddles. In frustration, its only focus is deadlines.

It is time for a cup of tea, and a bit of a stretch. I will find more words. There are so many–more than enough–but I have only this one moment.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.

The Road That Always Awaits

On those days when my energy is prone to spikes and subsequent lows, I return to this image, “The Road Awaits.” I pause, knowing I will walk through the rest of my day but in this moment, I await an evenness of mind.

Margaret Atwood wrote that “a word after a word after a word is power.” It is a path, this power, one every lover of words walks whenever possible. Not all paths are open to all. Some demand all.

Increasingly, I am fond of tweeting, the challenge of 140 characters with which to build words. The immediacy of the delivery creates paths everywhere. Some go nowhere and others make impressions I will never know.

Most of my words construct paths I will never walk, which is as it should be. Once I put together sentences, paragraphs become a message, perhaps one that awaits you. If so, no word in that path is ever mine again, not completely.

Surely, words return, singularly or in sentences. If the path I provided is thoughtful, it will join others as a road to places unseen and people unknown. When I am thoughtless, the possibilities are no less.

It is a path, this power.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.

Some Stretching and Rearranging

Today’s #LongerView receives a bit of clarification in the post, Working with Myself Rather Than Against. The post also mentions my beginning to write an AFE book.

That means I will need some writing time so I will be posting on weekdays only. #LongerView posts will continue to appear on Sundays. As always, I provide the bench.

I read your thoughtful comments carefully. If there is some aspect of AFE that you would like to see in the book or in AFE posts, just let me know in the comments or contact me at evennessofmind@gmail.com.

I’m so grateful you are here.

 

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.

Updating and Restarting

These are days of updating—for me and for my laptop–one restart after another, with mixed results. It is not a longing for default. That is a past setting.

My voice recognition software doesn’t keep up with impermanence any better than I do. It is more silent than not, choosy in what it recognizes and then…silence.

Not appropriate but a response nonetheless. All the while, the chaos of chronic illness interrupts me. Just as I settle in, the software shuts me off mid-sentence or even mid-breath.  

There is a “new” default, and neither one of us has found it. What was a lull in chronic illness is now a storm. In a mere morning, I am restarted. So many updates to explore.

There is never a good time for restarting or updating, be it computer software or chronic illness. Both seem to happen at night when laptop and I are at rest. Activation comes with waking up, opening a screen.miccosukee-water-lily-0713

Still, some updates are scheduled. In two weeks, I’ll have my second hip replacement, just three months after the first. I’m looking forward to the surgery as my right hip is all but worn out. No doubt that discomfort is encouraging my autoimmune and spinal cord disease and vice versa.

Yet, it is the silence of the voice recognition software that stops the writing. Two years ago, I gave up typing or keyboarding, as it only exacerbates the nerve damage in my arms and hands.  

Restarting and updating is exhausting. I take a lot of naps.

As for the software, that’s a bit more complicated. It has old issues that make it suspect to other programs that update regularly. As with humans, those issues are not always readily apparent.

Aim for Even posts offer equanimity a dose at a time. No day or dose is ever the same, even if the aim is. You may read about the origins of Aim for Even here or on this site’s About page.